The Leader is my shepherd, I shall not starve

He maketh me sit down in powder blue tuxedos

He leadeth me beside shrill vocalists

He restoreth my wallet

He leadeth me in dance halls of gratuitousness

For his names sake

Yea, though I walk through the kitchen or the back hallway

I will fear no evil

For thou art paying me

Thy baton and thy charts they showcase me

Thou preparest a chair for me in the presence of mine audience

Thou countest off my chart with vigor

My beer spilleth over

Surely Goodman and Miller shall follow me all the days of my life

And I shall dwell in the house of Band forever

 

Blessed are the poor in cash, for theirs is the wedding gig

Blessed are those who blow changes, for they shall be soloists

Blessed are the sight readers, for they shall inherit the section parts

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for dinner on the break, for they shall be satisfied

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall never play an accordion

Blessed are the pure in tempo, for they shall be drummers

Blessed are the bass players, for they shall be bored

Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of playing “In The Mood” one more time, for theirs is the kingdom of Mortgage payments

Blessed are you when men revile and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my bandstand

Rejoice and be glad for your reward is great at the end of the night

For also did men persecute the trombonists who were before you.